Have you ever experienced wild, impossible despair from not understanding the psychology of love between a man and a woman? Feel complete emotional powerlessness, seeing the results of your actions, which turned out to be so far from expectations?..

Have you ever wanted to understand what kind of women men like? To clearly see the psychological differences between a man and a woman and not to guess what a woman should be like in order to receive the desired attitude from a man, but to know this for sure.

Have you ever experienced wild, impossible despair from not understanding the psychology of love between a man and a woman? Feel complete emotional powerlessness, seeing the results of your actions that turned out to be so far from expectations?

When you are in despair... You get tired of beating against the icy wall of loneliness and melancholy... When the desire to experience ordinary female happiness remains unrealized for many years and causes excruciating suffering, you really want to believe the promises that they will teach you:

see the difference in the psychology of men and women;

determine which women men choose;

understand the psychology of men regarding women and the psychology of friendship between a man and a woman...

But who can teach this?

Training “Man and Woman” - a panacea for mental wounds, or...

Once upon a time I went there, full of hope and inspired by the words:

“Family happiness is in the hands of a woman”;

“Awaken the feminine power within you”;

“Get power over any man”...

Beautiful, spectacular women in high heels, claiming that they are loving wives, passionate lovers and successful business women in one person, promised to reveal the special secrets of the psychology of women and men. Tell us what kind of women men want and what kind of women men marry. Teach to be desired and control men’s thoughts, actions, and decisions. Teach all the intricacies of dating a man and a woman.

Now, looking through the prism of the knowledge gained at Yuri Burlan’s “System-Vector Psychology” training, I understand the stupidity of these strange meditations, visualizations and practices. Now I understand the principles of forming a training program. After all, almost every one of them pays special attention to the way of “begging” for gifts from a man.

The trainers convinced us that an independent woman is nonsense and the more gifts a woman manages to receive from a man, the more he will appreciate this woman. At these meetings, auto-training sessions were also carried out, making you believe for a moment that a wonderful personal life awaits you. Believing that crowds of men were waiting for them outside the doors of this center, whom they had already attracted with the power of their thoughts, the women again broke their hearts against the harsh reality...

Complete misunderstanding of the intentions, thoughts, reasons for the actions of men. Meetings with the wrong men and unfulfilling relationships. There is an even greater feeling of powerlessness, resentment, and misunderstanding of the psychology of love between a woman and a man than before. A feeling of one’s own “wrongness”, uselessness and lack of right to a woman’s happiness.

So maybe, really, someone was born for happiness and power over men, and someone was born to suffer alone? And there is a strictly defined type of woman that men love, and the rest simply do not fit this standard?

What kind of women do men love, or Who deserves female happiness?

Women's training makes one fatal mistake. They are built on the principle: “There is a type of woman that men like, and every woman needs to adapt herself to this type.”

These trainings are usually conducted (in the terminology of systemic psychoanalysis by Yuri Burlan). And this is natural. Nature itself has endowed these women with an innate ability to please. And indeed, any man would be happy to have such a woman.

But this does not mean at all that if another woman copies the behavior model and even appearance skin-visual woman, she will immediately be able to build a comfortable relationship with any man. Moreover, another woman does not need any man. She needs a strictly defined type of man. One that suits her properties and is able to share her desires with her. The one who will be desirable to this woman and who himself will experience an irresistible craving for her.

There are strictly defined rules of attraction between the sexes, bequeathed by nature. Men with certain characteristics and a certain life scenario like strictly certain women, and vice versa. AND beautiful woman through the eyes of a man, not the one who tries to follow some standard, but the one to whom he has a natural attraction.

Men love not with their eyes, but... with their nose. Catching the pheromones of a woman and unconsciously determining that this is the one who suits him, a man begins to feel attracted to her, which creates in him a feeling of the special beauty of this woman. That beauty that can sometimes be invisible to others.

And all women’s problems associated with relationships with men or the inability to succeed in social life occur due to a lack of understanding of their unique characteristics. Because of attempts to find an external reference point and be equal to it.

Understanding her natural properties and desires with the help of systemic psychoanalysis, a woman learns to accurately find her path. Your men. Love and understanding with your soul mate. Your place in society. Your state of comfort. This is not evidenced by a dry theory, but by people who have learned to see themselves and the people around them from the inside. Understand your own and other people’s properties, desires, and even predict the scenarios of your own and other people’s relationships in a team and in a couple.

Listen to what one of the training participants says about the changes in her life that happened to her after completing Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology”:

You can get an idea of ​​Yuri Burlan’s training at the next series of free online lectures.

Proofreader: Galina Rzhannikova

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

but they sincerely recommend it to anyone who wants to build a harmonious relationship

Taras Zhilin

Very interesting material. A number of questions and doubts disappeared. Lots of fears. I received tools to free myself from past grievances and other garbage that can cause inconvenience. Thank you very much Valentin for the wonderful material and answers to all questions.

Igor Mosiychuk

PLO from Valentin Plotnikov is a training on the psychology of relationships and the fact that relationships are both simple and complex. The training is about the fact that many people create relationships and have no damn idea how to do it and why. There are many simple ingredients and seasonings to create a delicious relationship and make it one you want to be in and maintain. During the training, you can catch dozens of insights and reconsider your relationship and your views on relationships several times. For me personally, this training was also about the fact that if a person was unable to part with his past relationships, or in a past relationship his personal boundaries and freedom were violated, and he did not work through this, then strong internal mechanisms will be activated in him that do not will allow him to join new ones or be a member of one, since he will try in every possible way to escape from them. In addition to this, I realized many more things that probably everyone should know before building a relationship. That’s why I think this training is extremely useful and I can confidently recommend it to anyone who has been, is, or wants to be in a relationship. Thank you, Valentin, for your work!

Natalya Listopad

Thank you very much, Valentin, for your invaluable work! What I felt during the training was something I had never experienced before. It is impossible to describe in words! There are pleasant sensations in the head and body: lightness, order, cleanliness and freedom. I highly recommend it to everyone, it’s definitely not a waste of work on yourself.

Alexander Matkovsky

Relationship psychology training exceeded all my expectations from it! My conclusions are based on personal experience client in family relationship therapy. And although a lot of things were already familiar to me, they revealed themselves to me in new nuances. Clear and concise. No water. Very accessible presentation of material. Successful examples for analysis from cinema. Effective processing techniques. This training is a concentrate of the most important and useful information on love relationships. The correct emphasis is placed on the most important, in my opinion, aspects of the relationship. Sufficient time was devoted to questions from participants. The value of the training fully compensates for its cost. I recommend this course to everyone who is just starting to build a relationship or has been in a relationship for many years. - Everyone can find something for themselves. Thank you very much to Valentin for his work!!!

Taras Bondar

Last weekend I took a very deep and entertaining PLO course. Over the course of 2.5 days, Valentin shared his knowledge acquired over many years of study and professional practice, answered all questions and addressed the problems of each participant. I really liked that all stages of a person’s formation from birth and even before it were considered, and the keys were given for understanding and accepting oneself and others. As a result, I realized several important points that helped me understand the directions for working on my growth points and received a good basis for building relationships. I would like to thank Valentin for the material provided and his help in expanding personal boundaries, and also recommend this training to anyone who has questions or problems in realizing their gaps in self-knowledge and building relationships.

Vyacheslav Vorobey

The second stage of the Valentin Triad) It was 2.5 pleasant and productive days. For me, this training is primarily about PLO with oneself. Focus on yourself, your emotions and beliefs. There was everything. And useful theory, and practical exercises, and homework. As well as tools and methodologies for further work. Valentin, thank you for the training and sense of humor!)

Vadim Markov

I would like to express my deep gratitude to Valentin Plotnikov, Author and Trainer of the training “Psychology of Love Relationships.” At this training, I worked through many requests in personal and family life! And most importantly, I was able to work on my relationship with my Parents! This was very important for me, because this is the very first relationship that needs to be built! Got a lot of easy to use tools! I recommend it to anyone lucky enough to attend this training! And I wish Valentin Creative Success and Self-Development!

Albert Isingaleev

The Psychology of Relationships training helped to solve the problem of closing past relationships, unnecessary comparisons, to understand your needs and the needs of your wife. Relief came in the morning and the flow of thoughts became calmer. Of course, it’s better to do exercises every day :) for at least a month

Ivan Ustyugov

I came to the training to work on self-love, stress less, enjoy the World more. I attended various courses, including ones that focused on working on relationships with parents. After this training I am in a new state, a mood that I have never been in before. A feeling of comfort, coziness, the world has become calmer, more pleasant, more diverse. The feeling is similar to how you feel after a massage, a bath, or when you have done and achieved what you have wanted for a long time. Nice. And there are tools for working with yourself further - that’s cool. During the training, I witnessed how easily, in a couple of minutes, Valentin unearths the roots of inefficiency or problems of different people. Powerful! And, of course, the coach is a great guy as a person. This is good.

Ruslan Khabibulin

Thank you Valentin. You are an expert in your field, everything is detailed and understandable. In this course on the psychology of relationships, I changed my attitude towards myself, towards others, towards life. I realized that I carried a lot of grievances and complaints in my soul, and that I wanted to get rid of the burden in my soul that they created. I understood my growth points, which I did not understand for a very long time. Thank you for the tools to work on yourself. Thank you for understanding that responsibility is important path to which you need to go.

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“MAN AND WOMAN – MELODY FOR TWO VOICES.”

Road of love. The beauty of relationships.

MODULE 1

Our website, LILA, specialized for training, also describes the upcoming relationship training for women and men:“MAN AND WOMAN – MELODY FOR TWO VOICES” THE SECRET OF HUMAN RELATIONS

The LILA studio website has become the main core of reflecting group work on the problems, difficulties and challenges of relationships within a M+F couple and includes serious psychological work to prepare for attracting a worthy life partner or changing existing relationships: these are educational seminars and trainings within CLUB “M+F. Time to love" , and individual work with couples, and individual work with one person from a couple (influencing a relationship partner through the dynamics of one’s own internal changes), and work on personal growth (including changing the environment and changing the monotonous scenario of not very successful relationships, as well as working out love triangles and love dependencies)

“We do not go to the goal alone, but together with our beloved.

Having learned to understand our beloved, we will learn to understand everyone.

We will all love each other. Our children will laugh

Over the black legend of a man who was lonely."

Paul Eluard

The secret of the relationship between a man and a woman is one of the most beautiful and amazing. Walking hand in hand along the Roads of Love, a man and a woman get a chance to discover new facets of beauty, wisdom and happiness, give birth to a new life, experience inner harmony and find inspiration.

The Roads of Love will give you the most vivid and magical experiences of your life!

The relationship between a man and a woman has been studied for years. It is important that He and She retain within themselves the constant desire to walk the Paths of Love. Those who undertake this journey must bring Beauty into their relationships step by step. And this is a lot of work.

We must not forget that the model of marital relations is an example for our children. The formation of the image of future women and men who are ready to build harmonious relationships as a couple depends on our attitude towards ourselves and towards the opposite sex.

Confusion on the Roads of Love occurs solely due to the personal characteristics of those who walk them. Someone wants to “remake” their beloved according to their own understanding, ignoring his individuality. Someone initially chooses a stranger as a companion. Some people do not consider it necessary to overcome their own stubbornness and selfishness. Someone carelessly treats a lover, hurting him. Some people demand too much; and some people tolerate empty and unnecessary things for an unreasonably long time. Some people magnify the unfortunate mistake of their beloved to the size of a universal tragedy, while others resign themselves to the obvious vices of their companion and do not confront them...

Provocations of the Roads of Love require thought and skillful assistance. This is why this training was created.

Training topics:

Diagnosis of relationships with partners of the opposite sex. Paradoxes of choice. What are the real expectations and requirements for your chosen one.

The main themes of marital conflicts are: “imbalance of take and give”, “merger - autonomy”, “leadership - adaptation”. Constructive ways to resolve conflicts.

Definition of a negative scenario in a love relationship. Creating a new scenario, modeling a positive future.

Seven levels of partner compatibility.

When love is truly love. A connection based on fear of loneliness, sex, money and power. What are the risks of being in such a relationship and how to reduce them. Seven love languages.

What is security in a relationship and how to achieve it. Sincerity and trust are the basis of strong relationships.

Awareness of your true needs in relationships. An open expression of Your feelings and desires in a friendly manner without feelings of guilt and fear of rejection.

Secrets of long-term harmonious relationships in couples. Ways to achieve them. Overcoming traps and obstacles.

LET THE ROADS OF LOVE OPEN NEW FACETS OF BEAUTY FOR YOU:

“The common house is a symbol of the strength of the union. The feeling of a common home in a special way nourishes, protects Him and Her, gives new shades to the deep experiences of Love and meaning.”

“There are many temptations on the Roads of Love, and only a deep understanding of the value of the union allows one to preserve the secret of the closeness of two, their common happiness.”

“The joint ownership of spiritual and material capital allows the couple to competently and delicately influence the course of events.”

“Whatever trials and lessons life offers, together He and She can overcome anything.”

“Mutual recognition of talents, respect for them and support, mutual faith in each other’s individual identity and purpose reveal and strengthen the talent of Love.”

“Thanks to mutual influence, a lover can convey to another the best that he carries within himself. Remembering mutual influence, everyone can responsibly work on their own shadow qualities.”

“In a union, everyone has their own unique male and female roles and responsibilities. It is important to perform them with joy and Love, subtly understanding their meaning.”

“In a special place on the Roads of Love, a deep feeling comes into union that He and She are destined for each other for something much greater than simple earthly joys.”

“Genuine sacrifice is always beautiful and evokes only high feelings, being inspired by Love. For a true sacrifice it does not matter whether it is accepted by the beloved, for it is accepted by God.”

“The mystery of connection, illuminated by true Love, is a secret connection with the Universe.”

"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead you,

Don't go ahead of me, I may not follow you.

Walk side by side and we will be one.”

Indian wisdom

Module 2: “Man and woman – war or peace. Unity of opposites." (About the manifested and shadow experiences of one's own and the opposite sex ).

We are all born Men or Women. Whether we accept or reject this integral part our nature, a lot depends. Why does belonging to their gender bring joy and resource to some people, while it places a heavy burden on others? Why do some easily establish contacts with the opposite sex, while others withdraw into themselves? In our class, participants will become familiar with the modern concept of male and female identity. Using a simple, beautiful and understandable metaphor at the bodily level, participants will see how the formation of gender (sexual and gender) identity occurs in childhood, what psychoanalysts call the “Oedipus complex,” and how the passage of this important stage subsequently affects our lives and relationships with the opposite sex.

Module 3: "Man and woman inside and out." (Awareness and integration of one’s internal feminine and masculine parts of the psyche ).

Every woman has a masculine part - her animus, the archetype of the masculine principle. And not only is present, but also develops: all the men who leave a mark in her life (father, teacher, first lover, film hero...) form elements of her animus, the male archetype. In the same way, a man has to build a relationship with the woman in himself - with his Anima, the archetype of the feminine.

Without Anima and Animus, we would never be able to imagine what it means to be in love. After all, when we fall in love, we find in another person the traits of our Anima or our Animus, that is, some part of ourselves. And phantasms of fusion, pushing us to an endless search for someone (or that one) who will once and for all complete us and save us from feelings of inferiority and loneliness, indicate an inability to conduct a dialogue with our male (or female) part. Which forces us to look for it in the outside world, leading to new disappointments and suffering.

There are different aspects that relate to how to stand in your place in a relationship, how to position yourself and be close to your partner. And before that, how to approach relationships in general.

From dating issues, pickiness, what lies behind everything, whether there are any substitutions in relationships, to much more - how to develop them.

• How to build relationships without manipulation, in dialogue? What is needed for this?
• How can you learn to thank your partner and correctly identify areas that do not need to be aggravated?
• How not to force him or her to do what he or she does not want, not to demand, but to learn to accept?
• How to grow in a relationship together, not at the expense of one side?
• How not to count how much someone gives in or owes, but to be on that wave when everyone wants to do for the other, and there is a return with gratitude?

Often personal relationships are formed not on the basis of what kind of person he really is, who he is in society, but based on how he perceives himself (self-perception can be greatly underestimated or vice versa). Traumas, different ideas, attitudes influence our personal life, from what starting point we build it.

And there is a manner of relationships that constantly shows how we grew up in our family.

There are people who hunt like hunters, and there are those who obey. There are many different models in personal relationships. And this is a whole whole system for life.

What key points can be found in order to build relationships that will be a space of trust and security and joint development?

We propose to first see the system of relations from the outside, not coloring them with themselves, but as a whole. Then, how we (each personally) build them: how we position ourselves and approach relationships, how we build boundaries, project what the partner should understand and oblige, what he should do, what are the reasons for this, how much we immediately put this person in one row with his loved ones and we demand how he should behave, we impose on him certain standards of conformity (and he can be completely different). And where does the wave of interaction come from, why do we catch this person in the lens of our attention and who turns whom to themselves, and then - how to develop relationships and how to develop in them.

Questions we will cover during the training

Own starting position in relationships, awareness

1. How you are in yourself, where you come from, how much you feel and what influences this - experience, self-esteem, status. What initially determines your choice and how you show yourself in relationships is your sense of self. First of all, you need to look into how you are positioned within yourself and learn to look at it. Which zone in you gives a request for a relationship, as far as you understand that not only you yourself, but also what is behind you requires from your relationship (genus, surname, family). Sometimes we are attracted to what we deny or forbid ourselves. We may want to provide a certain set of needs, we create an image of a partner from books, observations of parents, some ideas, but we ourselves are in a completely different state. What we want from a relationship doesn't always come from us. It's like a theory - expectations from relationships. You need to feel your objective state - not what you think about yourself, but where what really corresponds to you comes from. It's completely different. If we theorize and mold ourselves, it doesn't work. When we are not judgmental, but simply aware of ourselves, more conformity comes to this relaxed state. And it is important to realize what else influences our choice - past relationships, fear of getting burned or making a mistake, or, on the contrary, the position that it is better to make a mistake, but take a risk - it happens differently for everyone, and often it is uncontrollable, the gut chooses spontaneously. During the training, you will be able to open your attention to where you are coming from in relationships and become more conscious of the basis for which you choose, harmonize and strengthen your internal platform on which you can rely, position yourself more harmoniously in the starting position from where you look into the sphere of relationships.
2. How aware are you of your expectations, what is necessary for you in a relationship, what aspects must be provided? When we go into a relationship, we subconsciously mean a lot of things that should be in it. But there can be one entry point, and then we just add everything we are waiting for, as if it goes without saying. Often we come from “I can’t live without a relationship anymore”, and then a lot of things are superimposed on them that are not immediately taken into account. We can simply start a relationship with a certain “part” of a person, some qualities that we choose consciously or unconsciously, and adjust everything else. If someone's interests in a couple are not taken into account, sooner or later this will entail compensation. In a relationship, you cannot sacrifice the interests of either partner - one way or another, dissatisfaction accumulates and requires compensation from somewhere outside - a person can “run away” into work, hobbies or connections on the side, closedness or something else may appear. You need to see and begin to realize your true needs before you broadcast yourself and go into a relationship. Because if these interests cannot be realized in this union, this will have consequences. It is important to feel what is your priority in a relationship, what is more important. To gain greater awareness on this issue, also separate part our training with practice.

The dating stage and the beginning of a relationship

You need to learn to see how you enter into a relationship, whether you close your eyes to something (with the thought that you can handle it further), how much you take responsibility or go by inertia, where your will stops working. And how you know how to define your boundaries, how you broadcast yourself when you enter into a relationship. What perspective, expectations do you set and how do you voice it.

It happens in different ways and you need to start not being afraid to look at it in order to see yourself, to realize what kind of person you are when you start to get involved in relationships.

This is very important because interaction is when both have their own positions and are responsible for themselves.

There are nuances in how we position ourselves and how we realize it, how we set and don’t set expectations, which affects how we show up.

You also need to not just filter this, but learn to look at it consciously.

Dynamics of interaction - manner, strategy, tactics, relationship development and development in relationships

This part of the training is about how this joint dance develops, how thoughts, emotions are played out, characters and experiences collide, how development occurs. What takes place within the relationship and what is around the couple, how the system of society is, the surrounding people are involved, who or what complements the relationship and how much we see it.

Often we pull our partner over ourselves or simply please his rules and go over to his side. Relationships are in the middle. There must be a common psycho-emotional space in the content of which both are invested. And it is important that the rules of both sides are announced and accepted, heard.

Most often, if you are ashamed or scared to talk, many moments in an alliance occur spontaneously - one does as he can, the other must adapt.

If the relationship is initially built on someone else's side, sooner or later it is necessary to create an agreed common territory. You shouldn’t “wind up” a person on yourself and you shouldn’t “fall into” him. It is important to come forward and stand together.

Nowadays, there are a lot of interesting things outside and it becomes more difficult to stay in a relationship. It takes less time for them to be exhausted, and the relationship ends much faster.

When the speed of life increases, it becomes more difficult for two people to fully provide for each other and the requirements for interaction and communication increase.

You need to learn how to maintain relationships not mechanically, but have time to meet each other again.

What is now especially important in our reality is that the framework of perception of masculine and feminine is changing, new facets and requirements have not yet settled down, and the old scheme sometimes does not work.

In almost all cultures, men have a higher status, while women are now becoming more progressive in many areas. And the system of society uses this.

The acceleration of social life captures feminine energy, and if a woman goes to earn money in a masculine way, her position in relationships changes and this greatly affects them.

And men become more passive. The metropolis, a more or less prosperous life (when there is no need to “get food”), hibernates the fierce male attitude. Therefore, the search for adrenaline begins, and this affects stability.

At the same time, a man sometimes does not know what he can do without a woman. And a man may not know whether he is able to provide for this woman - not only financially.

Just money and gifts are not enough for a woman. She'll accept it. But you need consistency, depth, progressiveness, and it’s difficult for men to provide everything. Therefore, the time is such when women take on more. A woman, if she is conscientious, can be loyal and at the same time a leader.

Men traditionally deal with pumping up strength, business skills, how to win, and women are much more involved in the topic of relationships; men are a little behind in the development of this art.

One way or another, if we are talking about dancing together, it is not enough to just meet, we also need to dance. And this is mutual work - relationships.

Behind each pair there are points on both sides, what each person relies on in this union, there are key positions why the two walk together again and again.

And in all respects there is something to work on. We choose to spend our life with this person, and then there is something that everything holds on to, and something that grows.

There are psychological and spiritual patterns of how to nourish, maintain, and develop relationships in a couple.

At this stage of the program we will work with how to feel the rhythm of the relationship, keep it alive and progressive.

The main objective of the training— to help you move on to building relationships honestly and beautifully, expressing yourself harmoniously, accepting, hearing your partner, while feeling boundaries very clearly, interacting without substitution and without obliging, and strengthening each other in relationships.

You will be able to look openly at these topics, gain more awareness and understanding, and learn the range of key points that are necessary for relationships to be reasonable, adequate, and harmonious.

• You will see and realize what zones you are stuck in and what to do about it.
• Get the necessary missing knowledge.
• Raise your platform energetically on every point.

Each topic will be accompanied by meditative practices to balance all aspects and gain a resource for relationships.

Group resonance gives amplification at every point - this is very important.

Everyone has their own experience and it seems to us that we know everything. Any relationship affects all areas of life, but everyone goes through it in their own way.

When we identify together what is important to notice, what influences us to build relationships more successfully now, everyone can reconsider how they have been in relationships so far and what investments they can now make in this area of ​​their lives, receive inspiration and resource.

Meditation and initiation training program

• Collecting yourself.
• Correction of ideas, archetypes - raise the platform on which you rely in relationships.
• Ending a past relationship is taking yourself back and releasing the energy of your ex-partner.
• Initiating a resource for new relationships and developing existing ones.
• And others.

There will also be practice with initiation, how to feel the energy of interaction.

When there is a circle where masculine and feminine energy is present on a collective level, everyone can participate in what is the exchange of masculine and feminine energy, and this greatly promotes communication skills with the opposite sex.

Who is this training for?

• For those who are looking - build your readiness, deploy resources, integrate what you have, so that the relationship develops.
• For those who are already in a relationship - straighten your shoulders so that you can be in them more productively and consciously, openly, dynamically, easily and more comfortably, see deeper and experience more happiness.

If a relationship already exists, there is a resource for development in it. If everything is over, it can open and life will continue.

For some, this training is an opportunity to qualitatively prepare a launching pad for harmonious relationships; for others, it is to initiate their prospects.

Join us!

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